For a victim of domestic violence to testify in criminal court is like to live it all over again. I've tried so hard to forget, pretend that it was a bad dream, and threw away anything that reminded me of that life. Many times I wanted to refuse to testify, just not show up in court.
Then I thought that if I don't go it will mean that he (my still husband) wins. My absence will mean that all his claims are true. According to him:
- he never hit me, all injuries I did to myself (even though police was at the scene!)
- everything I said about abuse is a lie (I have a 17-year old kid's statement supporting me)
- I am the one who is abusive (I am 115lb, he is 180lb)
Tomorrow is the first day of jury trial. My husband has an attorney (I don't), his parents came from another state for support (my parents live in Europe), and a few friends are coming (who never visited our house). Tomorrow I will be alone and eaten alive - forgive me my pessimism.
My daughter called grandparents today (in-laws), they said that they "can't talk until its all over". She cried, felt like was ripped off of something.
Pray for me, I need a lot of help.
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